Temp post

***I can't fix my header photo right now, so y'all will just have to look at it until I'm able to remedy.***

Stagnancy and friendships

There's something about seeing old friends that I feel can either hurt or help you when you're feeling stuck. Everyone has those friends that are friends of the past; you may not have much in common with them currently and yet, you have nothing but total, complete and unconditional love for them because of all that you've shared in your pasts. 

These friends can be extremely comforting in times of stagnancy. I think the reason that they can be comforting is because while you're currently feeling stuck, you're more focused on the laughs, jokes and experiences you've shared from the past. You don't necessarily think about moving forward in your lives together, even though you know that person will always be around. You spend time with that person and momentarily it seems like the current displeasing situation disappears. You revert back to that time in high school when you stayed out all night together for the first time; the time you found yourself crying your eyes out on your friend's bedroom floor because you got a taste of what a broken heart felt like; the time you all tried pot together, but didn't actually know how to smoke it. All these silly yet important experiences have somehow shaped you, and you have these people from your past to thank for taking part in the development of you as an individual.

Conversely, old friends can serve as the complete opposite You see your old friends and feel nothing but even more of that daunting and uncontrollably uncomfortable feeling because you hear what your friends are doing and feel as if you're light years behind. 

I remember when I went home for Christmas during the winter of 2007 and met some people at a local bar for drinks. There was a large group of us, but one friends in particular approached me and asked me how I was doing. At the time, I was working my lame job, nowhere near making a decision on the next step of my life and the only really fantastic thing I had was my boyfriend. (I've never been the girl to feel like all is well in my world as long as I have a good relationship. I like it and I'm grateful to have it, but I want everything. I want the great schooling and career, the great health AND the great relationship. Let's face it: if something happens to my relationship or Joey and I don't have all that lined up the way I want it, I'm basically SOL. Nothing in this world scares me more than depending on someone else to provide me with all my happiness.)

Anyway, Thad asked me how I was doing and I answered, "Okay." It was so strange, because I couldn't even fake being okay. I know I probably sounded hopeless. Everyone I knew that night was either in school, done with school and had their career on a healthy path or at least knew which way they were headed. In my mind, at that time, I had a job. THAT'S IT. And with that response he looked at me with this look of concern and all I could do was shrug my shoulders. There was nothing more to say. 

Other than one heart felt email to my close friends at home, I don't think I've ever really opened up to any of them on this topic. I don't know if they have had the same stuck feelings at any point. I've sometimes felt as though I pushed some people away and that was frustrating for me.

Whether you consider these long time friends to be comforting or discouraging to your own view of yourself, try not to alienate them. Friends are there to support, listen and catch you when you fall. Consider this a time to allow those friends to be your wings. Let them be there to guide you, listen, let you cry or scream and just LET them be there for you. 

Remember that those friends have seen you through the good times as well as the bad. Your friendship has probably been tested many times in the past and will continue to do so as you grow into your adult life. Those are the people who have seen you at your worst...but they are not going anywhere. Including them in this part of your life will only strengthen your friendship and more importantly, it will provide with a gift during this particularly challenging time in your life. 

With all the turmoil you are currently facing, it is essential that you permit the important people in your life into your mind and feelings. They WILL give you an inordinate amount of comfort if you can learn to let them.