Tending to your mental health when you're stuck

Are you the type of person who does not like to bombard people with your problems? Or maybe you just frankly don't like talking about them, and letting people in on just how much is on your mind, what's on your mind and to what extent it is interferring with your daily life.

Throughout this entire experience, there have definitely been times when I did not want to, once again, unload on one of my friends or the person I was dating. After a while, I knew they'd get sick of hearing it and quite frankly, who wants to be around someone who's negative all the time? I sure as hell don't! In fact, that is one of my current goals: to wash my hands of all negativity (or at least as much as possible!) in my life, including people.

It was the beginning of Spring 2006 when I was unhappy at my previous job. My chi was completely out of wack! I knew that something needed to be done in order to change that. I began looking up different therapists and providers in my area. I called a few and while one in particular said she was not currently accepting new patients, she referred me to a social worker who was.

That's how Ruth became a constant part of my life.

We touched base on the phone, and she proceeded to tell me about herself, her education, how long she had been practicing, etc. She asked me to brief her on what issues I would be presenting to her in our sessions. I revealed to her that I was a 25 year old female, single and not a clue what the hell I was doing. My life felt completely out of order, I was panicked, frustrated, anxious and sometimes I felt depressed. We set up our first session.

My first appointment with her was a little intense. Then again, any other time I'd seen a therapist in the past, the pattern was the same. I'd sit down, the therapist would ask why I was there and I completely fell to pieces. I didn't even get to answer the question; the mere thought of what I knew had brought me to see someone was apparently enough to set me off. I suppose this was a result of me keeping all this to myself and never feeling like I definitely had complete freedom to let it all out to someone.

She was great about it. In her years of counseling people, I knew I wasn't the first person to cry in a session and I sure as f*ck wouldn't be the last. I brought a list of things I wanted to discuss and believe me, it was lengthy. She took notes that session and for a few following, just to get herself acquainted with my life, the people in it, their roles and so forth.

I definitely cried within the first few sessions with her, and every now and again I'll find myself getting teary eyed about some topics. Overall, however, I'm able to just walk in, sit on the couch and spew out everything that's on my mind. Ruth has this great role balance; she's able to let me be crazy when I just need a moment to be crazy, and she also has this great way of metaphorically smacking me around and yelling, 'Snap out of it!' when I need that.

Over 3 years later, I still see her twice a month and she never takes notes while I'm there. I'm sure she documents our conversations after I leave, but she has everyone I've mentioned in my life pretty down pat. It's going to be weird to start this new stage of my life without seeing her every month. I am not certain if I will continue to see someone as I move to New York and get acquainted with my new life there.

A note to some people who have a stigma associated with seeing a therapist of any kind:
I'm going to be a little in-your-face about this, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart - GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. That old 'Only crazy people see therapists' BS may have worked 20 or 30 years ago (even though it was still just as stupid then), but it's 2009. Give me a break! And for those who are worried about how others will perceive you if they know you're seeing someone, you too need to GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. Why you're seeing a therapist is NO ONE'S business but your own. Your therapist isn't going to be posting your session on twitter, for crying out loud! What happens in your session stays in your session. And to top it off, anyone in your life who is that judgemental and actually would give a rat's ass about it probably shouldn't BE in your life. Rid your brain of that ridiculousness and be confident in your choice to see a therapist to better your mental health. If more people actually invested in their mental health, do you have any idea what kind of world we could be living in today?

For those who have considered seeing a therapist, TRY IT! It is extremely therapeutic to sit down and just talk about yourself and your own problems without having to hold back. You can talk about anything at all that's on your mind and someone will be listening! Your mental health is so important to take care of at an unstable time like this. I can honestly say that every 2 weeks when I go to see her, I almost always feel a sense of stress release and accomplishment after I leave and I am walking home.

I have not done all the research myself, but even for people who don't have health insurance or sucky health insurance I KNOW there are free clinics that offer counseling. You just have to look.

Friends and family will help you through this, no doubt. However, it's always good to get an objective ear and opinion. This time will pass, but it's the choices you make while it's passing that will make this journey that much more comfortable.